Well… not exactly. But exactly. But not exactly.
I’m never going to be tiny. Now, that isn’t an excuse for “not working hard” or “being lazy”, it’s fact:
I am 6’1/2”, 245 lbs, and have broader shoulders than you (go ahead, I’ll wait).
My father’s side of the family comes from Belarus and Alaska, and my mother’s side from Greenland and Greece. We are not, as a whole, a small people. So, again, I’m never going to be tiny.
The thing is, I’ve always been told that I should be.
We’ve heard this monologue before, right? “The Media… the Pressure… the Societal Norm…”. Well those facets do, in fact, conspire against individual thought, body acceptance, and our ability to decide what is normal and desirable for us on an individual level. Let’s be honest, here: the way that we view our bodies shapes the way we interact with our friends and family, our employers, our communities, our world. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of presenting the image of a beat-down proletariat (at best) or a false front of I-should-be-skinny (at worst).
“We put our life on hold, we stunt it, because of our bodies” – Jes Baker, TEDx Talk
The point of this blog? I am doing one giant cannonball into plus size modeling… and I am going to plump up and tone up a little bit to do so.
This isn’t about fat acceptance. It’s about retraining my brain to be able to accept what I think would be ideal for my body type, based on the goals I have for this body – goals like plus size alternative pinup modeling, increased fighting capability (strength, flexibility, stamina), and the pride that comes from whittling my body into the exact tool I want it to be.
- I want to tone what I currently have. Yes, I have FANTASTIC legs and a killer rack, but I would love to tighten up my inner thighs and arms for better movement and flexibility, while tightening my core.
- I want to add curves to my hips, butt, and tummy. That’s right… I want to ADD curves to the very places most women pay thousands of dollars to prevent that very thing, because I think it would look incredible on me.
- I want to model, professionally.
- I want to participate in the sports/activities of my choosing.
So, welcome to my journey. This is where I plan to document my progress, share my struggles (I. Hate. Running.), and hopefully alter a few perceptions of what it means to be fat AND healthy.